butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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