I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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