The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
