is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
