I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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