I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
