you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
