conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
