you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
