See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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