i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I take back everything I said about communal showers
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
