What a fucking waste of an outfit
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
