Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
