Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
