I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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