go do what you do best...puke behind churches
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
