I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
