There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
