i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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