...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Send help, water and tortillas.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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