i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
