I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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