I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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