Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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