no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
