ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
