toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
