Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
