hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
