These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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