rhymes with "ouble enetration"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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