we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
