I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
