90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
