Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He? As in you personified your dick?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
