i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
