i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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