It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
