The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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