would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She bit a glass in half.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize
