Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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