The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
