im gay
i know
yea but for you.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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