Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
