I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
