Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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