dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
