Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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