What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
