I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Randomize
