as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
