pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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