All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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